When you love someone, you might have to make compromises. You might have to rearrange your priorities. You might have to rethink the way you want your future to look.
But loving someone shouldn’t mean abandoning everything that makes you you.
You should not have to sacrifice your dreams in order to keep your relationship strong. The right person for you should support your career goals. They should be your biggest supporter. They should be standing behind you, ready to catch you when you fall and shove you back onto your feet. They should inspire you to keep trying when you are debating whether you are wasting your time. They should make you feel like you are capable of anything.
Loving someone does not mean you have to stop loving the parts of life that don’t involve them. You are allowed to have hobbies. You are allowed to have passions. You are allowed to have friends.
Your person shouldn’t push you away from your social circle. There should still be nights when you leave the house without them tailing behind you. There should still be times when you get drinks with your friends from college. There should still be occasions when you grab brunch with your mother one-on-one. You should still live your own life.
Loving someone does not mean you make them the center of your universe.
You should give them attention. You should place them atop your list of priorities. But you should not desert your own identity in order to please them.
Even though you should look forward to spending time with them, that does not mean you have to spend every second of your time with them. You do not have to invite them to every place you go. You are allowed to separate. You are allowed to wander away from each other as long as you are still respecting each other while you’re gone.
It’s healthy to have space. It’s better to live your own lives, to be your own people, than to accidentally get so tangled up with each other that you are unable to function when you are apart.
You don’t want to become attached at the hip. You don’t want to lose yourself.
Loving someone does not mean you give up everything for them. It does not mean you have to throw away everything you used to care about so that you can place all of your focus on them.
The right person for you will want you to have your own life. They will want you to be happy, even when they are out of your eyesight. They will find your independence attractive. They will be relieved that they don’t have to hold your hand in order for you to make it through the day okay.
You don’t have to give up everything you love for your relationship, because there is enough room in your world for your forever person and for your friends and for your career. You can have it all. You don’t have to choose one over the other.
