To say that relationships are complicated would be an understatement. They are downright impossible to understand at times.
What’s even more difficult is actually getting to a point where you are in a relationship.
Just finding someone you can spend any amount of time with on a regular basis is difficult.
As a society, we like to fool ourselves into thinking that there is someone out there for all of us, but when you are booting 40 and haven’t found the love of your life yet, it can be hard to believe – for both men and women.
What’s interesting about men is women is how different they are in their approaches to relationships.
Men still head to bars on the weekends to pick women up, and women still hope to bump into a good guy at the grocery store on a Tuesday afternoon.
We get it wrong all the time.
But what’s the one thing that men always get wrong about women?
When a man goes out on a Friday night with his friends, he is looking to have a good time. Yes, he might like the idea of hooking up with a special woman, but having a good time comes first.
If the opportunity presents itself, that’s great, but otherwise, he’s heading to enjoy himself and meet people.
When a woman goes out on a Friday night, she spends hours getting ready. I have a friend who will leave work early on a Friday afternoon to start getting ready for cocktails at 8pm on Friday night.
She needs a good 5 hours to get ready for a night on the town. Yes, I said 5 hours.
But that’s not the thing that men need to know. I’m telling you this so you can see how different men and women really are when it comes to having a good time.
Women spend upwards of 5 hours – in some cases! – to go out with friends because the possibility of meeting a man is high.
That’s not what all women live for of course, but when you have it in your head that you want to meet someone, it’s all you can think about, and you’ll do anything to speed along that process.
And yes, that means even spending hours making yourself look amazing.
When a man pays attention to a woman, and the woman likes the attention, she expects the man to pay attention to only her.
So you can imagine a woman’s frustration when she finds out that the man is flirting with another girl across the bar as he goes to get drink refills.
Why? Because he just wants to have a good time!
But if a woman sees her crush flirting with another woman, she’s not going to morph into a psycho-bitch and make a scene.
In fact, the opposite is true: she’s going to shrink down and start to feel really, really bad about herself.
She’s going to question whether or not her outfit was the right choice. She’ll wonder if she wasn’t funny enough or if she isn’t pretty enough.
She’ll worry that she was too forward or that she seemed desperate. Yes, that must be it, she’ll think to herself, “I’m acting desperate.”
Meanwhile, the object of her affection is across the bar talking to another girl who will probably feel the same way when he excuses himself from that conversation and heads back to the first woman he was talking to when he went to get drink refills.
It might sound crazy, and yeah, it probably is a little crazy, but the thing that men always get wrong about women is that they assume women think like a man.
A man who abandons one woman to talk to another probably thinks that’s okay because he isn’t looking at it from the woman’s perspective.
He’s looking at the situation through man-eyes. Afterall, he is just trying to have a good time and meet new people. Isn’t she just trying to do the same?
It’s tough when you are looking for love, but it’s made even harder when men don’t take the time to consider how things look from a woman’s perspective.
Go ahead and say things like women who act like that are too sensitive or are obviously not independent enough, but every woman has been there.
Whether she is a strong, independent woman or not, it can hurt a lot when you see your potential crush flirting with another woman across the room.
It makes you feel sad and unworthy.
Some women will shake it off and get over it faster than others, but you’d be lying to yourself if you pretended that you never felt like shit because of something a man did.
The worst part is that women will spend their precious time being angry or mad at a guy and the guy wouldn’t even know it.
He won’t know that he wronged a woman because he was just doing his thing.
