Body language appeared long before cosmetics or clothes were invented or before people even had the ability use spoken language. That’s why this instinctual communication method is the main factor that influences how other people perceive us.
We believe that the world needs more charming people, so here’s a quick guide on body language and gestures that you should not use in order to stay attractive.
1. Hand-gripping wrist gesture
When you grip the other hand behind your back, it sends a strong negative signal to others. This is mostly because we take this posture when we’re moody or angry. And the higher you grab the arm, the more dissatisfied you seem to people.
2. Ankle cross
Crossed ankles show that we don’t completely believe in the things we’re talking about. If you also have your hands in your pockets, we bet that no one will pay attention to what you’re saying.
When you hide your hands in your pockets, you’re usually trying to hide anxiety. And actually, this gesture has many meanings which are necessary interpret as a whole, but in most cases we just use it when we’re nervous.
3. Clenched hands
Clenched hands is a mini-version of crossing your arms over your chest and it means: “I want to shut myself off, I’m not here, and that’s none of your business.” Not a very pleasant sign to send to others, right?
4. Hands clenched in a raised position
The hands clenched in this raised position is a modification of the previous gesture, but this one is even worse: the higher you place the arms, the more you want to hide behind them.
5. Slouched posture
Bad posture isn’t only harmful for your health, but also indicates that you’re helpless, self-conscious, and unsatisfied with your life. The same applies to the shuffling gait that is associated with older people.
Straighten your back and raise your legs when you walk. These tips will improve your appearance even more than a new dress.
6. A wry smile
For many people this wry smile has become a habit and that’s unfortunate because people perceive it more like sarcasm. Don’t try to imitate bad guys from the movies and don’t hesitate to smile sincerely and openly — you will find many more friends this way!
7. Hand pointed towards the person you’re talking to
Not many people recognize this sign, but you should be careful when you use it anyway. If you’re sitting at a table and talking to a person, don’t place your arm as shown in the photo above. To the person you’re talking to, this may read as “Please, stop talking.” and it doesn’t make you a pleasant conversation partner.
Of course, this rule doesn’t apply to a situation where you want to hold the other person’s hand.
8. Hands on the hips
It’s a pretty aggressive pose and sometimes we take this stance simply because we don’t know where else to put our hands. The signal from this is: “Well, what do you want to tell me? I probably disagree anyway.” It doesn’t really make you want to talk to or trust a person.
9. Pointing out with your thumb
We are all familiar with this gesture: a person points their thumb somewhere back behind themselves. It turns out that it can often be regarded as a sign of disrespect. It’s like you’re saying: “Yeah, I know, I know,” and all your answers look like you couldn’t care less.
10. Clenched fists
This hand position reveals hidden tension and fear. The higher the fist is raised, the more the degree of tension there is. It looks like you’re ready to punch someone or defend yourself and the people around you can feel it. That’s why less contracts are made with people who sit with this hand position during business negotiations.
11. Hand covering your mouth
You shouldn’t cover your mouth with your hand while speaking because the person you’re speaking with may think that you’re hiding something.
Besides, we unconsciously touch our mouth when we’re lying and many people know this. Also, when you cover your mouth, it may be hard to understand what you’re saying and who likes to ask someone to repeat themselves?
12. Shaking a finger at someone
We often use this gesture when we want to convince or control someone but the effect turns out to be the opposite since most people don’t like to be admonished.
In general, the secret of charisma is quite simple: the more open your pose is, the easier it will be for you to make a good impression on others. Spread your shoulders, show your open palms, and people will be more attracted to you.
You will notice, as well, that you have become more confident because the way we behave affects how we feel.
