Anyone in a long-term relationship would tell you that it’s normal to go through highs and lows with your partner.
If you want to stop any relationships blips from escalating, then making the effort to keep that all-important spark alive is key. Luckily, one relationship expert says there’s an easy way for couples to stay connected – and it involves regularly asking one another a simple question.
That’s according to relationship counsellor Jonathan Bennett of Double Trust Dating, who told Business Insider that allowing yourselves to drift apart can prove fatal for relationships.
‘Once couples start to live separate lives, it’s very difficult to rekindle the spark,’ he said. ‘In these situations, absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder, but kills off whatever physical and emotional connection is left,’ he said.
‘Many people in long-term relationships get into unhelpful routines and this can include a lack of regular communication.
‘For example, after a long day of work, both partners might just prefer to unwind and watch Netflix rather than have a serious discussion about the relationship. Over time, this leads to both partners taking a nonchalant or reactive approach to dealing with problems.’
The good news? Bennett says there’s an easy way to stop this from happening: all you have to do is make the effort to regularly check-in with your partner by asking the question, ‘What do you need?’
Explaining that many of us can feel secretly unfulfilled in our relationships, without knowing how to openly communicate this to our partners, Bennett said: ‘Honestly asking your partner what he or she needs to be happy in the relationship or what is missing takes courage, but it’s better than not knowing or pretending problems don’t exist.’
Emphasising the importance of regular communication, he added: ‘I believe all couples should regularly evaluate the health and direction of the relationship and then make efforts to fix underlying issues. If problems go unresolved for weeks and months, they begin to drive a wedge between otherwise happy partners.’
He continued: ‘Regular assertive communication is the way most relationships can be strengthened and saved.’
