Going through a difficult life event, such as bereavement, losing your job or divorce, is never easy. But if you need a silver lining to the cloud hanging over you, those tough times could ultimately help you develop new wisdom.
That’s according to new research from Oregon State University (OSU), which showed that people who felt their whole sense of personal meaning was rocked by an event ended up wiser than those who just got on with things.
‘The adage used to be “with age comes wisdom”, but that’s not really true,’ said Carolyn Aldwin, OSU’s director of the Center for Healthy Aging Research. ‘Generally, the people who had to work to sort things out after a difficult life event are the ones who arrived at new meaning.’
Interviews with 50 adults, aged between 56 and 91, were reviewed, focusing on their descriptions of how they coped after a difficult life event, and whether the experience ultimately changed their outlook or actions in life.
‘What we’re really looking at is, “when bad things happen, what happens?”‘ explained Aldwin. ‘The event can become a catalyst for changes that come afterward.’
What the team discovered was that the vast majority of people believed the tough life event had disrupted their sense of personal meaning, prompting them to reflect on themselves, their beliefs and even their understanding of the world.
‘For these folks, the event really rocked their boat and challenged how they saw life and themselves,’ said Aldwin.
But it’s not just down to your own response – that wisdom was also linked to the social support they had in the aftermath.
‘It mattered whether a participant was expected to adjust to the event quickly and “get back to life”, or whether they were encouraged to grow and change as a result of the event,’ wrote lead author Heidi Igarashin. ‘The quality of the social interactions really make a difference.’
So take those offers of help and understanding from friends and family, and seek out national support groups that can aid you in processing your problems. You’ll be wiser for it.
