1. Stand up straight
The quickest way to boost your inner confidence is to change the way you sit, stand or walk. ‘Looking confident means feeling more confident and the reverse is true, so self-diminishing behaviours like hugging your torso or standing with your legs crossed at the ankles will send signals to your subconscious that you are somehow under attack,’ says psychologist Judi James, author of Being Confident(Vermillion, £12.99 from Amazon).
‘Pull up full height, roll your shoulders back and down and splay your feet slightly. When you sit place your elbows on the arms of the chair and do smile.’
2. Make gratitude your attitude
There are lots of studies showing the link between gratitude and wellbeing. So, make time to appreciate and reward your body for the amazing job it does.
For example, you may not like your flabby tummy, but feel grateful for the job your body did carrying your children when you were pregnant. To continue being positive about your shape (or any other aspect of your life), why not start a gratitude journal? Every day, write down your thoughts about each part of your body and why you appreciate it.
3. Give off beautiful vibes
Whatever your life stage and body shape, watch out for the messages you’re unconsciously giving to others. ‘We tell other people and ourselves how good we look or not,’ says Judi.
After all, you could have a body like Gisele but any shape can appear unattractive if low self-esteem comes through in your body language. ‘It’s the way you carry yourself that counts,’ says Judi.
‘Never criticise your shape out loud and don’t make comparisons.’
4. Remember, no one else is 100% body confident either
‘When we lack confidence, we are actually experiencing fear,’ says Judi. ‘We’re not afraid of our own bodies, we are afraid of social disapproval if our bodies are not seen as “perfect”.
‘Very few women are happy with their bodies. I have worked with models with enviable body shapes and they were some of the most body-obsessed and distressed people I know.’
Next time you feel insecure about your shape, know you’re not the only one.
5. Ignore other people’s flaws
It’s fine to compare yourself favourably with other people, but if you feel yourself thinking something critical about someone else’s body, stop and think of something complimentary about them instead.
Why? If you frequently judge others, you may start to think they are judging you in the same way – and this can make you feel self-conscious. Think gorgeous instead!
6. Forget ‘anti-ageing’ and think ‘positive ageing’
It’s important to accept and love your body as you get older and change. ‘Ageing has begun to seem like a perversion in modern life with anyone sporting natural signs of it rather than rushing off to have work done increasingly being viewed as odd,’ says Judi.
‘So, make your decision. You can either try to stop the clock or be who you really are. If you decide on the latter, use this mantra to yourself and other people: “I am happy with how I look”‘
7. Help yourself feel fabulous
Exercise regularly (when we exercise, our bodies release feel-good chemicals called endorphins which boost our happiness) and work in some simple pampering into your daily routine to help you celebrate, care for and reconnect with your body.
You deserve it – try using a gorgeous smelling aromatherapy shower gel or massage oil to help you look and feel good.
