I met my sweet husband when I was in high school. He was in college, I was in my senior year, and we fell so in love, so fast. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him after our very first date, and within a few months, we had our wedding booked and planned.
We were (and still are) SO in love — nothing else mattered. It didn’t matter that I was a senior in high school, and it didn’t matter that we were just getting started in our college careers. We knew it was going to work out, and we were (and still are) oh so happy.
Although we were happy, there were a lot of people who had concerns. “Don’t you want to have a real college experience?” “You’re going to lose all of your friends” and “You need to live your life” were all very common questions and phrases I heard almost on a daily basis leading up to my wedding day.
I know everyone who had these questions and advice meant well and were genuinely curious. After all, getting married right out of high school isn’t exactly the normal thing to do — but what really bothered me was the fact that everyone thought I was going to lose myself when I got married.
When you get married, you actually do lose a lot of things, but losing those things can actually be beneficial. Here are seven things you lose when you get married:
1. YOU LOSE THE WORRY YOU’LL NEVER FIND SOMEONE
I think everyone who wants to get married has a little bit of anxiety that it won’t happen for them. Not that it would be a bad thing if it didn’t, but many people would prefer to get married and spend their life with someone. When you finally find your forever sweetheart, you lose that anxiety of being alone (and it’s absolutely beautiful).
2. YOU LOSE THE NEED TO IMPRESS EVERYONE
Once you get married, there’s one person who takes priority — and it’s your spouse. It’s important to fulfill your other responsibilities, but those other people and tasks become a little less worrisome when you’re focused on nurturing your relationship with your sweetheart.
3. YOU LOSE YOUR UNRELIABLE FRIENDS
When you get married and your priorities shift, you figure out who your true friends are. It’s so important to keep nurturing your friendships, but your true, reliable friends will understand that your spouse is your top priority now.
4. YOU LOSE (SOME OF) YOUR INSECURITIES
Everyone has insecurities. But when you get married, your sweetheart alleviates some of those insecurities because you know they love you more than anything in the world. You gain a sense of comfort in knowing someone loves you and your flaws.
5. YOU LOSE THE ABILITY TO ONLY WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF
You were the only person you really had to worry about when you were single. But now that you’re married, you automatically worry about your sweetheart because you only want the very best for them. You would do anything to keep them out of harm’s way, and you feel a sense of comfort in knowing they’re looking out for you too.
6. YOU LOSE EXPECTATIONS ABOUT LIFE
I thought I had my life all figured out when I was first married. However, after a few career changes, college major switches and other unexpected circumstances, my husband and I learned to take life as it comes. You learn to be prepared for anything, but you have to lose your expectations because life is unpredictable. When you let them go, your life becomes so much happier.
7. YOU LOSE PIECES OF YOURSELF
You can be the most headstrong person in the world, but you’ll still lose pieces of yourself when you get married. Marriage takes patience, compromise and selflessness. You give every piece of yourself to your partner, and they do the same for you. So as you’re giving your best self, you’re gaining pieces of your sweetheart, and you come together as one in the most beautiful way.
It’s true that you lose a little when you get married. But those losses make the most incredible rewards, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
