At the start of January, many of us strive to make changes in our lives but if you’re already struggling to keep those New Year’s resolutions then your internal voice could be to blame…
And you might want to consider removing one word in particular from your vocabulary: ‘should’.
That’s according to self-help author Erin Falconer, who has shared top tips for achieving goals in her new book, How to Get Sh*t Done, £16.99, out now.
In an excerpt published on Well + Good, Falconer explains why the use of ‘should’ can be so detrimental…
‘”Should” is a word that implies obligation and expectation and often comes as a box set that’s gift-wrapped in guilt and even shame,’ she writes.
‘It’s also a word that implies an open-endedness and the absence of a decision. It describes possibility rather than reality. “I should go to the gym” is not the same as “I’m going to the gym.” “I’m going to the gym” is definitive. You’ve got a plan and you’re executing that plan. There’s no feeling involved, it’s simply a commitment.’
Falconer also highlights how crucial our internal dialogue is when it comes to achieving our goals…
‘We don’t actually say “should” that often, not out loud, anyway,’ she writes. ‘No, “should” is the word we say to ourselves, all day long.
‘Inner dialogue is something all humans have. If left unchecked and untrained…the brain can be noisy with negative commentary.’
And all that negativity will ultimately wear you out, she argues: ‘The very fact of a “should” in a sentence is a red flag that you either don’t want to do that thing or don’t really intend to do it. Either way, you’ve created a divide between what you’re expected to do and what you want to do.
‘If you are saying the word should, but really mean something different, you are penalising yourself – which over time will deplete you.’
So, there you have it, if you really are planning to start a new exercise or diet routine in 2018, then replacing ‘I should’ with ‘I’m going to’ really could make all the difference…
