“The secret of staying young,” Lucille Ball famously joked, “is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” To that we’d also add, at least if you’re talking about crossing the threshold into middle age: living your days without certain objects that are beneath your newly exalted station in life. Yes, turning 40 means you’re entering your best decade. It also means it’s time to retire your ex’s band t-shirt, throw out the magnifying mirror in your bathroom, and never, ever, wear jewelry that turns your skin green.
Herewith, we’ve compiled all of the things women should throw out when they reach 40.
CELEBRITY FRAGRANCE
J. Lo’s first fragrance, the fruity floral Glow, was a classic. But now, several iterations and hundreds of celebrity-branded, focus-group-approved perfumes later, star-studded scents have been watered down. Toss it—or, at least, stop buying them. Instead, use nature to smell great, by eating the 6 foods that will make you smell like a million bucks.
UGGS
The slippers are fine, but the original (and ubiquitous) Ugg boots are the sartorial equivalent of leaving your house in your oldest, most misshapen set of pajamas. And if your partner needs some much-needed shoe upgrades, give him one of these 30 Cool Pairs of Slip-On Shoes.
TIGHTS WITH HOLES OR RUNS
Toss them and buy new ones ASAP. They’re inexpensive enough that there’s no excuse not to do this, and there are few things less professional than walking around with torn pantyhose.
HAREM PANTS
The last thing any woman needs is for her pants to sag around the butt…on purpose. It’s not flattering even when you’re 20. Remember: baggy pants are a no-go for most men as well. Especially if you agree with the style-savvy women who answered the question: Should Men Wear Baggy Jeans?
SPARKLY EYE MAKEUP
Shimmer—which is usually subtle and fine—is not the same as glitter, which can be chunky and, well, glittery. (As well as a hazard if it gets into your eye.) That’s why a shimmer eyeshadow can stay, but glitter needs to go.
ALL THOSE BRIDESMAID DRESSES
If you’re approaching 40, you probably have years’ worth of bridesmaid dresses languishing in the back of your closet. You may have paid a lot for them, but they’ve served their purpose and, let’s be real, who wants to wear an old bridesmaid dress anywhere? Consider donating them instead. And speaking of wedding bells…
HEADBANDS
Headbands are the beauty equivalent of Mary Jane-style shoes: A little fussy and very, very girly. You’re better off pulling your hair back into a clean, simple ponytail—unless your hair is short, in which case, employ bobby pins to keep your hair out of your face.
CLAW HAIR CLIPS
They look like you accidentally walked out of the salon in the middle of a single-process. To be fair, they’re handy if you need to section your hair while you’re styling it, but they otherwise should never see the light of day. And don’t even get us started on plastic banana clips.
PRINTED LEGGINGS
If you’re going to wear leggings, they should be reserved for exercise only. And if you’re going to break that rule (since we can all agree that they make for excellent loungewear) at least make sure they’re black, which looks more chic and flattering than bright, loud colors.
TUBE TOPS
Throw. Them. Out.
DIY NAIL-ART KITS
You can get away with the occasional accent nail, but a full set of nail art is a lot of things (none of which is “elegant”). Imagine leading a board meeting with hands covered in multiple polish colors. (Exactly.) Go with your favorite color—or experiment with something bright—but lay off the whimsical details.
CHARM BRACELETS
Not only do charm bracelets get caught on your sweater, but people can also hear you coming from a mile away. Those charms are like tiny cowbells for humans, something that is definitely ridiculous in your 40s.
KITSCHY PHONE CASE
Is your phone case blinged out? Or, maybe worse, designed to look like a banana? Then it’s definitely time to upgrade it to something sleek and simple. If you still want some flair, try subtle patterns or a set of your initials.
LOW-RISE JEANS
We’re not saying you should relegate yourself to “mom jeans.” Just opt for a higher-waisted style. You can still experiment with different silhouettes, from slouchy boyfriend jeans (cute and comfortable) to skinny jeans.
CHOKER NECKLACES
Sure, there’s something very 50 Shades of Grey about a simple choker necklace. But if, like Nora Ephron, you feel bad about your neck, there’s no faster way to draw attention to it than with a choker.
CHEAP JEWELRY
Affordable jewelry is always a good idea, but if you notice it turning your skin green, take it out of rotation. It’s not harmful, but the green can detract from the appeal of great accessories. Opt for metals like stainless steel, white gold, and platinum instead, all of which are less likely to react with skin.
SERIOUSLY TORN DENIM
That meme about adults telling you there’s holes in your jeans exists for a reason.
LEATHER MINI SKIRT
It’s short, it’s tight, it’s just a no.
BOMBER JACKET
This is the type outerwear just screams rebellious youth. That’s not the type of vibe you want to be giving after you’ve lived, experienced, and wised up.
