It’s hard to believe these odd-looking critters actually evolved to look this way. Here, the new book WTF, Evolution?! critiques some of Earth’s wackiest creatures.
Pignose frog
Really, Evolution? You’ve had 130 million years to work on the pignose frog, and this is the best you could do? Did you maybe boil it too long?
FYI: The pignose frog spends most of its life burrowed underground, emerging for only a few weeks every year to breed. Hey, there’s someone for everyone.
Striped leaf nosed bat
Evolution accidentally dropped this bat on the floor but was too embarrassed to say anything so just pretended it was actually supposed to look like that.
FYI: Leaf-nosed bats’ nasal folds act like megaphones to amplify the high-frequency sounds they use to hunt. Their giant ears make excellent receivers—but they’re pretty embarrassing on school picture day.
Galapagos batfish
Clearly, Evolution meant the red-lipped batfish to be a work of satire, not meant to be taken as a literal “animal,” which would of course be ridiculous.
FYI: Beneath the batfish’s noselike protuberance dangles a small, retractable lure. Scientists aren’t sure exactly how the fish uses the lure—nor have they had the heart to tell them how silly it looks.
Babirusa
Why so gloomy, babirusa? Is it because Evolution gave you some weird extra tusks that are useless, too brittle to fight with, and may eventually grow so long that they curve around and fatally puncture your skull? Could that be it?
FYI: A babirusa’s tusks start out growing inside its mouth, then pierce through the skin of its face and just keep going. Talk about a nightmare of orthodontia.
Bearded pig
Hey, Evolution, I know that beards are in and all, but I think you may have put this pig’s on backward. Or upside down. Or inside out? Possibly all three.
FYI: Bearded pigs use their scruff to dig around for roots, fungus, and bugs to eat. They also snarf down plants, small birds, and the occasional orangutan carcass.
Ocean sunfish
Hey, Evolution, do you think maybe you forgot something here? LIke, I don’t know, the entire back half of the fish?
FYI: From above the water, sunfish have occasionally been mistaken for disembodied swimming dolphin heads.
Whitemargin stargazer
Dark thoughts keep Evolution awake some nights. It tosses and turns, tormented by visions of twisted creatures. To feel normal, Evolution tries to bury these demons. The darn things keep poking their heads out, though.
FYI: Dangly lures inside stargazers’ mouths attract critters for these bottom-dwellers to snack on. They may also eat souls, although biologists have yet to confirm this. (Did you know that there’s a difference between a poisonous animal and a venomous one?
