Hollywood movies might send the message that big romantic gestures are key for keeping love alive but the opposite couple be true, according to one relationship expert.
In fact, the ability to enjoy being ‘boring’ together might be crucial…
Great news for those of us who spend more time cuddled up on the sofa watching the telly with our partner than heading out on romantic dates.
Yep, Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck told Business Insider that the real secret to a long-lasting partnership is feel happy doing boring stuff together.
‘I think, if you look at a relationship, I actually think it should be as boring as possible,’ he said. ‘And that sounds really weird to people but if you think about it, a really happy 80-year-old couple that’s been together for 60 years, the reason that they’ve been together for 60 years, it isn’t because they took all these private jets and they had these crazy vacations and “Oh my God, look at their pictures”.
‘It’s because that they were able to be boring together. They are able to spend year after year, sitting around the house, talking about the same boring stuff, watching TV, watching movies, cooking dinner, and it went fine. There was nothing exciting, there’s nothing blowing up, there’s no huge drama, and dishes flying.’
And, oddly enough, Manson goes on to argue that you should actively aim to be more boring if you want to keep love alive…
‘It’s an important thing for people to understand because I think, especially today, a lot of people — we don’t want to be a boring person, like we really want to be interesting people and have interesting lives but the problem is that, that conflicts with what makes a relationship good in a lot of cases,’ he says.
‘A lot of cases, what makes you an interesting and complex person, makes you a really horrible person to be with romantically. In a strange way, I feel like we need to cultivate more boredom in our lives, like boredom needs to be okay again. It needs to be seen as a good thing and I think it’s definitely a good thing for relationships.’
To be honest, this is just what we wanted to hear right before planning to spend the next month semi-comatose on the sofa in front of old Christmas movies!
