Happiness—real, sustained happiness—isn’t just something that you stumble upon. And it isn’t something that you should only experience on the weekends and on vacation. It’s something that we all can achieve, but we’ve been going about it the wrong way, says Kristi Ling, happiness strategist and author of Operation Happiness.
Ling explained in a recent TED talk that happiness is not just something you can choose to be (“Wouldn’t that be great, though, in life, if we could just choose things and have them happen automatically?” she says), nor is it something you just find.
She sums up what happiness really is with a quote from Aristotle. “‘Happiness is a state of activity.’ It is something that we do,” she explains. “It’s something that we have to actively take part in creating, every single day. It’s a skill that, with practice and dedication, we can become good at, in the same way that we’d learn to play an instrument.”
She offers three easy ways to begin to approach to re-learn the skill of happiness:
Change Your Mornings
“The way we’re living our mornings is setting the stage for our entire day and life,” says Ling. Rather than hit the snooze button, use your morning to do something positive for yourself and do healthy things for your body.
Be Always Seeking
“The happiest people resourcefully seek beauty, joy, adventure, wonder, and powerful meaning in all areas of life,” she says.
Participate
“We must participate in our own happiness and take responsibility for it,” she says. She explains that, as children, we go after joy with all of our energy, but this drive can get lost as we grow up. “Going after joy with all you’ve got, with full force, and making it happen, every single day—it’s one of the true elements of making lasting happiness.”
