Perhaps as you entered your fourth decade, you created a list entitled, “Age-appropriate thoughts and behaviors I need to follow from this day forward.” However, most of these unwritten rules are pretty meaningless (and a number have even been disproven by science). It’s time to be thankful about adding another candle to your birthday cake this year!
“IT’S TOO LATE FOR ME NOW.”
Whether you’re thinking about changing your career, relationship status, appearance, or achieving goals on your bucket list, there is no age limit when it comes to redefining your life. “This statement can be very dangerous because it causes us to internalize an expiration date that doesn’t have to exist,” says Dr. Robi Ludwig, a psychotherapist and author of Your Best Age is Now. “It stops us from pursuing the people, places, and things that we want to pursue in life.”
“I’LL LET MY PARTNER DEAL WITH THE MONEY STUFF.”
“Fiscal maturity is an important part of growing up and becoming an adult,” states Dr. Ludwig. “It’s always wise to be in the know, especially when it comes to finances.” Keep in mind that you may have the Midas touch, regardless of your education level, or your personal and professional achievements: After analyzing the portfolios of more than eight million clients, researchers from Fidelity Investments concluded that women are more likely to outperform men when it comes to a return on their investments.
“LIFE WOULD BE EASIER IF I WAS YOUNGER.”
Well, aging experts and younger adults would disagree. Research from the University of California San Diego School of Medicine suggests that mental health seems to improve over time, while those in their 20s and 30s are more likely to suffer from high levels of perceived stress, along with symptoms of depression and anxiety. “[Older] participants reported that they felt better about themselves and their lives year upon year, decade after decade,” stated senior author Dilip Jeste, MD, Distinguished Professor of Psychiatry and Neurosciences and director of the Center on Healthy Aging at UC San Diego. He added that adults in their 20s or 30s-those in the “fountain of youth period”-showed “far worse levels of psychological well-being than any other period of adulthood.”
“NO ONE WILL WANT TO DATE SOMEONE MY AGE.”
Well, not with that unappealing attitude, anyway! “Again, this is the type of statement that is self-attacking and negativistic,” says Dr. Ludwig. “Love can find us-and does find people-at any age. Forget age and just go after what you want!”
“I’M TOO OLD TO CHANGE.”
Not quite, says Dr. Ludwig. “We continue to change all the way into our 60s and probably beyond,” she continues. “There is this mistaken idea that we are finished growing and changing. We are continuous works in progress.” After all, the only thing that’s constant is change.
“WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?”
The time has come to stop the blame games and end the pity parties. “This puts us into a victim-type of mentality, which makes us disempowered,” explains Dr. Ludwig. “It’s better to take life as it is and make it as joyous and meaningful as we can.” If you find yourself regularly giving in to your desire to host a woe-is-me bash, consider speaking with a counselor, which may help you find the root of this self-defeating pattern.
“I GUESS I’M STUCK IN THIS BORING CAREER.”
Not only is this statement untrue, but there’s evidence that supports the idea of shifting your career path in your mid-years. A survey conducted by the American Institute For Economic Research revealed that 82 percent of participants reported making a successful transition to a new career after the age of 45. While some adults reported accepting a lower income in the early stages, the majority stated that a fatter paycheck came their way after a period of hard work and persistence.
“I’LL NEVER HAVE A BABY.”
Statistics show that there’s been an increasing trend toward delaying childbearing until after the age of 40, according to medical researchers from Germany. These investigators also concluded that under specific conditions-for example, treating a chronic disease, attending regular prenatal check-ups, and following a healthy lifestyle- the outcomes for children born to women 40 years of age and older were nearly identical compared to younger women.
“I’VE MADE TOO MANY MISTAKES IN THE PAST, SO THERE’S NO WAY I’LL HAVE THE LIFE I WANT NOW.”
Even though there can be tremendous value in learning from our failures, it’s best to leave the past where it belongs-behind you. “Every moment in life provides an opportunity to create the life you want,” states Dr. Ludwig. “The past does not equal your future. It should simply provide us with information, direction, and some wisdom that can help move us ahead and in the right direction.”
“I’M TOO OLD TO JOG.”
Actually, the older we are, the more our body may benefit from jogging, according to a study published in the journal PLOS ONE.. After testing, self-reported joggers over the age of 65, scientific researchers discovered that adults who run at least three times a week for 30 minutes were less likely to deal with age-related physical decline compared to the volunteers who choose walking as a form of exercise. “The bottom line is that running keeps you younger, at least in terms of efficiency,” said co-author Rodger Kram, a Professor of Integrative Physiology at the University of Colorado, Boulder, in a press release.
“I’M JUST WAITING FOR THE MIDLIFE CRISIS TO BEGIN.”
You might be waiting for the rest of your life, because that midlife crisis might not even exist. “In some ways, we look for the midlife crisis,” explains Dr. Ludwig. “And it is – on some level – a self-fulfilling prophecy because we really can experience a crisis throughout various phases of our lives. So I think it’s when you’re going through a transition and an adjustment during the mid-years and we slap the title ‘midlife crisis’ onto it.”
“MY SEXY DAYS ARE OVER.”
“Sometimes our sexiest years are during midlife and beyond,” say Dr. Ludwig. In fact, Halle Berry (age 51) was quoted as saying, “Sexiness is a state of mind – a comfortable state of being. It’s about loving yourself in your most unlovable moments.” And we believe that Jennifer Aniston (age 48), Elizabeth Hurley (age 52) and Christie Brinkley (age 63) would agree.
“I’M TOO OLD TO DANCE.”
Samba, anyone? A study published in the journal Frontiers in Human Neuroscience indicates that older people who exercise on a regular basis can reverse the signs of aging in the brain – and dancing was shown to have the most profound effect. The volunteers were instructed to attend either a dance class or endurance and flexibility training each week for 18 months. However, since the dancers were taught new routines while the other fitness group worked out using the same exercises week after week, the medical investigators believe that the ongoing challenge of learning new dance moves was the real reason for the extra anti-aging benefits. So keep challenging yourself, too!
“I’M OLD – AND FAT.”
Aside from the fact that your social life may suffer – because no likes to be around a complainer! – this type of dialogue can have a more damaging effect on the relationship you have with yourself. “Negative statements get heard by your psyche and produce low self-esteem and expectations for oneself, which is never a good idea,” explains Dr. Ludwig.
“YOGA IS MEANT FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE YOUNGER AND HIPPER THAN ME.”
Just say “om.” Researchers from Poland assessed the flexibility of the spine in 56 women who were between 50-79 years of age. The females were instructed to attend 90-minute sessions of hatha yoga over the course of 20 weeks where measurements for range of motion were taken at the beginning and end of the study. Their findings, published in the Journal of Physical Therapy Science, concluded that “applied yoga exercises increased spinal mobility and flexibility of the hamstring muscles regardless of age.” Namaste.
“LOSING WEIGHT IS NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE.”
It’s true that shedding those unwanted pounds becomes more challenging once we reach our 30s-thanks to a naturally slower metabolism-but losing belly fat is far from being unattainable. Simple lifestyle changes, including cutting back on artificial sweeteners, boosting your intake of good bacteria, practicing mindfulness, and beginning the day with a high-protein breakfast, are proven strategies for reversing the number on the scale.
“THERE’S NO LONGER TIME FOR ME TO DO THE THINGS I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO.”
“Time is an interesting phenomenon,” explains Dr. Ludwig. “When we create time for something, we have time for it. Therefore, it’s possible to make and find the time for the priorities in our life.” And just about everyone is overscheduled, so what’s age got to do with it? “Make no excuses,” she adds.
“BIKINIS ARE OFF-LIMITS.”
There’s absolutely no need to part ways with your two-piece bathing suits. A swimsuit survey of more than 1,300 women aged 18-80 revealed that the most confident ladies to strut their stuff in any type of bathing suit are between the ages of 65-74! Also, nearly half of the participants agree that women have more important concerns than achieving the ideal bikini body. In other words, “seas” the day.
“IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP.”
If you’re concerned about your ability to catch some quality zzz’s as you age, make sure that your days hold special meaning. Researchers from Northwestern University gathered 823 adults between the ages of 60 to 100 (since this group is more likely to deal with sleep disorders, including insomnia, sleep apnea, and restless leg syndrome) and quizzed them about their sleep habits, as well as their perceived purpose in life. As a result, they found that having a good reason to get up in the morning was associated with better quality sleep.
“MY BEST YEARS HAVE COME AND GONE.”
Remember this wise phrase: Words hold power. “Confirmation bias can make anything we believe in come true,” states Dr. Ludwig. “In reality, our best years can happen at any moment in time. Each phase of our life brings with its own value and beauty.”
Source: Good Housekeeping; Photo by Getty
