You and your S.O. sailed past the honeymoon phase eons ago, and now you’re more in the “please don’t forget to pick up toilet paper on the way home” phase of adult romance. How to keep the love alive when life’s life-yness gets in the way? Saying these five simple phrases every single day is a great place to start.
“Good morning.”
Unless you’re one of those freakish “morning people” who wake up smiling, sans under-eye bags and ready to whip up a super-food smoothie, mornings aren’t always romantic…or even pleasant, for that matter. We’re human—we get tired and stressed about the day’s looming to-do list. A simple “good morning, love/sweetie/sunshine” will help remind your partner that they are the bright spot and best part of your day. Sure, it sounds cheesy, but mornings together should never be taken for granted, and this small utterance is a great way to reinforce that—even via text message, if your sleep schedules aren’t in sync.
“I’m sorry.”
You snapped at them when they asked if you mailed the rent check. You turned their favorite T-shirt pink in the wash by accident. You forgot to text their mom on her birthday. Swallow your damn pride and say you’re sorry. It’s such an easy way to set things right fast. Heck, say you’re sorry even if you’re not the one directly responsible for their distress (like, if they had a rotten day at work). This simple word both shows you value their feelings over your own stubbornness, and more generally, it expresses empathy, reminding your spouse that you’re on the same team here. Period. End of story.
“That’s such a great idea.”
…Or a similar small compliment. Make an effort to commend your person at least once a day, whether that’s telling them how proud you are that they stood up to their boss or as small as affirming that, yes, salmon is a great idea for dinner. A big part of being a good S.O. is being your partner’s de facto cheerleader, and positive affirmations from the person closest to them (no matter how tiny) will have a ripple effect, making them happier people in their day to day, and therefore, making a happier all-around dynamic in your partnership.
“How was your day?”
It’s so easy to get swept up in our own little stresses and dramas when we get too comfortable with people—and this often comes at the cost of forgetting to ask about their days, and prattling on about our own instead. Asking this question every day will remind your partner how much you care about the (totally silly but important) egg salad sandwich they ate for lunch, and also thwart your own melodrama in the process. Double win.
“I love you.”
Last but not least, the three most powerful words in the English language. Even the non-sentimental among us must find a reason to remind your spouse you love them every day. (Say, signing off on a phone call, falling asleep at night or adding a sweet after-thought to that aforementioned toilet paper text message). It doesn’t matter that they know it already and it doesn’t matter that you said it just yesterday: “I love you” is hands down the easiest, most effective way to ensure you never lose that honeymoon sparkle. (Even if said honeymoon is ancient history.)
