This article is for those who are ready for love but don’t understand why these feelings always avoid them. 6 reasons and colorful illustrations will answer the question of why you’re still alone.
We trie to explain why people who wait for this cherished feeling to come always get passed by.
6. There is no place for love in your life.
So you understand that you’re ready. Ready to love and be with someone forever and ever. But you’re not going to see this person tonight because you’ll stay at work (just like you have for the past several days). On the weekend, you’ll see your friends and listen to them talking about their problems. Or maybe you have a child and you’re occupied with them and only them.
- Your diagnosis: you’re busy with everything in this world except love.
What can you do?
Steve McClatchy, the author of many psychological books, recommends that we stop dealing with every problem and all duties on our own. Misplaced priorities don’t allow us to be happy and keep going. First of all, love yourself: go home on time, let your mom take care of your child, and postpone the meeting with your friend to the day when you (not she!) will have a chance to talk about your new romantic adventure.
5. You can’t let your previous relationship go.
So you’ve finally found time for a date. You spend a lot of time in front of the mirror trying on different outfits and imagining his admiring gaze, bashful smile, and funny jokes. But before you go out, you feel like you just want to cry. Because when you think about love, the image of your ex-boyfriend appears in your mind. He was handsome, brave, perfect, and just the best, so caring and nice. Outstanding psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud wrote how important it is to leave past relationships in the past. Why argue with an expert?
- Your diagnosis: your previous relationship occupies your heart.
What can you do?
Answer a question: why are you still suffering? Your relationship is over, the time machine hasn’t been invented yet, and you can’t change anything. Your ex isn’t perfect, he’s great only in your own head. Psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg thinks that subconscious emotions and fantasies have a huge impact on our new relationships. Let yourself move forward. It’s time to be happy!
4. You spend too much time at home.
Fatigue, bad weather, and the depressive winter season are reasons to spend the day inside. Besides, there’s a new film to watch and a book to read. By the way, knitting is also a great hobby. So you stay at home. You always find an excuse, even when it comes to weekends and holidays. Because of this you always feel sad when there’s no one to hug you.
- Your diagnosis: you’ve turned into a homebody.
What can you do?
Of course the time we spend alone is peaceful, covered with a blanket, with the heroes of our favorite novels. But let’s be honest: if you limit yourself to the 4 walls that surround you, you’re likely to have a date only with your fridge. There’s a wonderful world beyond your house, make an effort to get acquainted with it.
3. You don’t pay attention to your appearance.
There you go! You did it. In a cafe, a waiter pays attention to your friend and takes your order with a serious face. A handsome man wants to know the name of the girl in the bright red dress. A lady wearing pleasant perfume attracts the attention of so many people around her. And you hide your head, with a ponytail, inside a tired, old hoodie.
- Your diagnosis: you stopped caring about how you look to other people.
What can you do?
Mom always used to say that people will love your soul and intelligence. And that’s true! But there’s an attraction period that happens prior to love. Leil Lowndes, an expert in the psychology of communication, thinks that the first impression is the foundation of the future relationship. Of course it’s important to be smart, but don’t forget to look good, and be a kind and open person in public. Guys don’t care if skinny jeans aren’t trendy now, if they suit you (as well as your beautiful smile)!
2. Your parents’ opinion is the main one for you.
This precious moment has finally come: you start falling in love. Mom asks about his hobbies and dad is interested in his job. Together they come to the conclusion that he doesn’t deserve you. And you can’t choose between your feelings and their feelings and negative opinion. Don’t be upset! Doctors Tim Fawcett and Piet van den Berg from the University of Bristol conducted scientific research and published an article that says that parents very often don’t like their kids’ choice and it’s a totally normal thing.
- Your diagnosis: your parents’ opinion is more significant for you than your own.
What can you do?
Of course parental authority is an important part of upbringing. Mom doesn’t like his one feature, dad doesn’t like something as well. But your parents have already found their love and have a family. Now it’s your turn to make a choice. Let yourself follow your own feelings and opinion.
1. You’re against trying new things.
Cute, good looking, and independent. You meet your friends always in the same cafe and choose only “chick flicks” when you go to the movies. You’re pretty sure that there are lots of smart guys in the theater, and that there are no creative people among athletes. Your narrow views and habits don’t allow you to move forward.
- You’re scared to try something new.
What can you do?
You have to get rid of the structure you’ve built for yourself. The world is huge and diverse. And true love is waiting for you beyond this structure of usual places and hobbies!
