Talking about the early days of parenting, the lovely Girl on a Train actress Emily Blunt recently admitted that she didn’t shower for a week after giving birth. Now Emily Blunt is fabulous, and the subject of many a girl-crush, but a week? Possibly that’s a little too long…
Still, the reality of those first few weeks with a new baby is that things like washing and eating and sleeping suddenly get squeezed out in favour of feeding, staring adoringly at your baby’s chubby wrists while they sleep, and then… well… feeding again. That’s pretty much it.
We put so much pressure on ourselves as new parents, but this is a once in a lifetime experience! Your baby is going to be a newborn for pretty much no time at all, so who cares if the dishes stack up a bit? Those wrists aren’t going to stay chubby forever.
Here are a few more truths that you should probably know about life with a newborn. Know too though that it’s a magical time, and when you look back on it in years to come, you’ll definitely not be thinking ‘I wish I’d made more time to shower.’
1. You will be tired.
I think you know this though.
2. Long, hot baths will be a distant dream.
If you’re lucky you’ll get the chance to have the odd shower, but it may be at about 8pm when your partner gets home from work. Friends may say, ‘Just leave the baby in the cot to cry for 10 minutes.’ But let’s face it, that’s not going to happen is it?! You’re not made of stone.
3. You’ll be scared to poo.
This is normal. And although you’re probably worried that the first poo will cause your insides to fall out, it won’t. You’ll be okay.
4. You may forget to eat.
When you do remember, it will be just as your baby has started a feed. You can see the kitchen, but you can’t quite reach the snacks… To combat this, simply leave bowls of crisps and packets of hobnobs next to every chair/bed just in case.
5. When you do eat, it may not be quite as wholesome as you’d normally like.
(See hobnob tip above.) This is okay. It’s not forever. Plenty of time for juice diets.
6. You won’t get back into your pre-pregnancy jeans for ages.
Again, see hobnobs. Really though, who cares? You’re not a celebrity with nannies and personal trainers and personal chefs. You’re a normal person. With an actual tummy. Hoorah!
7. If someone starts talking about current affairs, you’ll glaze over.
This doesn’t make you ignorant, you will care again one day, but for now it’s fine to think the world revolves around those chubby wrists.
8. If you don’t wash or even brush your hair for a while, that’s okay too.
Hair is self-cleaning after a while isn’t it? Perhaps? So someone once said. (Probably the mum of a newborn.)
9. You may not have time to do things you’d normally take for granted.
Like tying your shoelaces. Just invest in a pair of slip on shoes. Probably a better option anyway, as bending down may cause a milk incident.
10. You may feel the urge to stab your partner in the arm with a fork at regular intervals.
Just blame the hormones. It’s totally normal to feel a little resentful if your partner comes home from work saying how tired they are, and you’ve not even had chance to get dressed, let alone speak to another adult. Just remember that they’re probably sad too about missing life at home with you and the baby.
11. And finally…
All of the books talk about having friends and family around to support you, so that you can go off and do things like shower and eat meals and have a nap, but when it comes to it, you reallydon’t want to leave your baby thank you very much. Not even for 10 minutes. Not yet. And if that means you live off cake for a while and are a bit whiffy then so be it.
