It’s actually pretty awesome to be a woman at this time in history.
Okay, there are still some challenges. But when you look back on the way things used to be, even just a few generations ago, we have it made.
Women today are accepted and considered beneficial in almost any position of authority or entrepreneurial role. (Though we’re still working on some.) And in most parts of the Western world, it’s acceptable and encouraged for women to live independently and carve out the life of her choosing.
But with all of the wonderful benefits of personal and professional independence, women still crave love. And confusion around romantic roles for men and women have increased dramatically.
The dependence on men to live has, thankfully, disappeared but it leaves women with a big question mark — what is the purpose of a romantic partnership now?
More and more independent and strong women find love relationships challenging; these challenges range from repeatedly attracting partners that don’t match her level of ambition and quality to just being chronically single because…what’s the point?
These relationship difficulties cause frustration that continues to support the independent woman feedback loop of, “I don’t need a man. I’m happier being single.” Or, “Why can’t I just find a decent man?” Which leads to becoming more independent and the cycle repeats.
Being a totally independent woman when you’re single is wonderful. However, partnerships really require interdependence — when both parties mutually help and rely on each other for the benefit of the whole.
So, if you’re wondering, “Why am I single?”, pay attention to the following 9 signs. These personality traits show that your independence is unconsciously pushing away love in a quality, interdependent, soulmate partnership — keeping you forever independent but single:
1. Accepting help usually makes you feel like you owe the person “something”.
Especially if it’s from a friend or a lover. There are people you can hire to get it done and it just makes you cringe to make someone you care about do it for you.
Here’s the truth, loving people love helping out and consider it a slight, if it’s not accepted.
2. You feel comfortable with men that don’t try to impress you or help you.
Because you don’t want to have to “owe” something, you are far more relaxed around men who don’t even try to make the effort. But who are you kidding? That gets old quickly in a relationship.
3. You find yourself silently keeping score.
You can’t help it, you have a business mindset. Everything is an exchange of time, money, or energy.
Unfortunately, keeping score will weigh heavily on a loving partnership. Save it for the sporting event or the business.
4. The nice guys that call you, bring you flowers, and want to take you out to dinner just don’t do it for you.
You can’t quite put your finger on it but when men are this nice to you, it turns you off and, perhaps, even makes you suspicious of their motives. Nope, this is just what men that love you do.
5. You are continually drawn to the man-boy who doesn’t have his act together (thus, he can’t even afford to buy you dinner).
He may or may not have a steady job, clings to his child-like hobbies, and might even rely on you for financial support. How does that feel long-term?
6. Relationships feel like hard work and leave you feeling emotionally drained.
Because you are doing most or all of the giving and providing, it begins to feel like a second career and not the nourishing support your heart craves.
7. You believe you always have to look the prettiest, be the most successful, creative, genius, or prove your value in some other way.
Very often underneath is a subconscious need to prove your “worthiness” of love. But, little do you know, your soulmate will love you for who you are — while loving all those other qualities about you, too.
8. Your relationships can take on a competitive tone.
You start to feel like he isn’t rooting for your success or even supporting you. What’s worse is that he seems to quietly resent it. A quality partner will love to see you happy and successful.
9. Men who are successful, loving, and have their act together just aren’t that into you.
Yet, that is. They aren’t into that woman that is 100 percent independent of him and has trouble accepting his loving gestures. But he would absolutely be into you in an interdependent relationship where love flows freely both ways.
If these signs sound familiar to you then perhaps it’s time to take a look at whether your independent streak is making it hard for your soulmate to love you.
And focus on bringing a more free-flowing, interdependent spirit into your relationships.
